What does it mean to live a spirit guided life? How do I walk a spirit guided path? I discovered the answer a few days ago in a very interesting environment.  Let me explain…

My twin sister Angel came to visit me from Taiwan for two weeks.  The last two nights before she left, I decided to take her to the casino for a few rounds of blackjack.  I don’t go to the casino often now that I am a mother of two little boys. The last time I went to the casino was a year ago when I was jet lagged (yeah excuses excuses).

I did find that my trips to the casino were increasingly more interesting year after year as I became more sensitive to the energies around me. The casino can be a place with low energy, mainly because many of the people there were not there for entertainment, but to service their gambling addictions.

The first night I was there, my sister and I collectively lost one hundred dollars. The second night I was there, I decided to do something differently, I decided to do a grounding meditation before I started playing. While I was playing blackjack, I began to ask this question over and over again in my mind:

How can I live a spirit guided life?

For which I got an answer:

You Listen.

It sounded easier said than done. How does one just listen?

I decided to place a bet that was higher than what I would normally bet ($20 instead of $5). The cards that were initially dealt to me was a nine and a two, adding up to eleven, with a dealer having a small card of six. I decided to double down, betting an additional $20 and received a five, not my ideal – which was a ten or face card. As the dealer dealt her own cards, she busted (more than 21) and as she paid out to the people on the table. As she was paying me out with red chips, she made a comment, “Go Big or Go Home!”

For some reason, the words, Go Big or Go Home really rang true with me. For the rest of the night, whenever I heard the words in my mind, “Go Big or Go Home” prior to placing a bet, I almost always win that hand. That night, I started out with $150 and left with $270.

Then I decided that I would frequently ask myself the question:

How can I live a spirit guided life?

After coming home from the casino, I was laying in bed and feeling some kind of stuffy feeling in my heart. A friend came over earlier in the day and we went shopping with my four year old son Cedric in tow. My friend and I met at a personal development course.  When we first met, I was dealing with issues of low self worth and having little interest in hanging out with my kids. Two years later, I was hanging out with Cedric and having a marvelous time pushing him around in the shopping buggy.

I wondered to myself, why would I have this stuffy feeling in my heart when I had won money and hung out with Cedric?

I decided to ask the question:

Dear Spirit: What messages do you have for me?

Right away I saw Cedric’s face and felt a sense of Love followed by a sense of Guilt.

May (M): Spirit, why do I feel guilty?

Then I got the following words–

Spirit (S): You feel guilty loving your kids and spending quality time with them because you feel like you are betraying that inner child part of you that did not receive love and attention from your mother.

M: Spirit, what other guilt do I feel?

S: You feel guilty having close friends because your father maintains really close friendships with his friends and your mother really resented that and told you that your dad treated his friends as more important than his family.  You also feel guilty having a great relationship with your husband because your parents never had that kind of love and harmony in their relationship.

I shared this with my husband with tears in my eyes.  During my short dialogue with Spirit, I was breaking through some of my deepest subconscious beliefs about love.  How could I truly love if I felt such guilt around loving my children, my husband, and my friends?

So with that, I end this post with a single question:

May: Spirit, what messages do you have for me and my readers today?

Spirit: Love is the natural flow of the Universe. Some may think they can stop love. But to do so is to stop the flow of all energy in the Universe.  This includes the energy of health, the energy of abundance, and the flow of harmony.  We leave you with the a little jingle to the song Let It Go from the Disney movie Frozen:

Let it Flow, Let it Flow
Can’t hold it back anymore
Let it Flow, Let it Flow
Say goodbye to fear and pain

I don’t care

What the ego may say
Let the love flow through
The ego never bothered me anyway!