I have been having the problem of doing what I say I would do. I am frustrated at myself for not being able to to do what I said I would do. For example, I said I would do one video a week and when the deadline rolls around and I have nothing to show for it.

So today is one of those deadlines where I have nothing to show for. I am curious to see what my inner wisdom have to say about this. I have been connecting to my own source of wisdom via a journaling method I called “Dear Universe”. I am going to give that a shot in this blog post:

May (M): Dear Universe, Why can’t I complete what I said I would do?
Universe (U): Because you haven’t made it a true priority.
M: How do I make something a true priority?
U: It has to ring true to your soul.
M: I thought my goals are in alignment with my soul. You have suggested some of these goals for me.
U: They are indeed great ideas.
M: So why can’t I complete what I want to complete?
U: Think of a guitar string…you want to strum it but there is an object that is placed on the guitar string. Normally, if you put your finger on a guitar string and you hold on tight (strong commitment), you can produce a wonderful sound. But if you don’t hold on tight and haphazardly try to place your finger on the string without pressing it down, the string cannot ring loudly when strummed. That is then considered an interference.
M: How much interference do I have?
U: Over a hundred.
M: WHAT!!!
U: How do you get rid of these interfering forces? You must identify all of them and removing them. ALL of them. Make that your goal.

M: There is this idea about receiving coaching where you can set a goal, meet with a coach once a week and you focus on your goal only without looking at potential interfering factors and you will eventually meet your goal.
U: Yes, you can do that too but there are consequences.
M: Can you tell me what are the consequences?
U: This you can see the most in Olympic level or elite athletes the most. To reach a certain goal, they would push themselves hard. If there were things they are unhappy about, they often push aside any mental obstacles and push forward towards their goal. The ones that pushes the hardest without address potential interfering factors will have the most problems.
M: Can you tell me what are the problems people encounter?
U: Post Olympic depression is one of them. Pushing towards a goal at any cost and disregarding the mental and emotional blocks can cause an athlete to completely lose focus and motivation right after they hit their goal. They might have spent all their lives going towards one goal, let’s say being in the Olympics and after they reach the goal, their motivation deflates and they have problems getting themselves up in the morning.
M: Are there any other examples?
U: Lots of examples, for example, people who are climbing really tall and dangerous mountains around the world. Many people lose their lives because they they set the summit of the mountain as their goal. They might write out their goals as “To stand on top of Mount Everest” but they didn’t set the goal of getting themselves down alive and in one piece. So, a lot of times, people make it to the top of the mountain, celebrates far too long and their body has no more strength to make it back down the mountain. The majority of the fatalities are on descent and not during the ascend.
M: How does this apply to me?
U: Long ago you set the goal of being a business owner and being successful as a start up. You sought out coaching and pushed yourself week after week. You wanted a beautiful and harmonious family, and you have indeed reached your goals. But by pushing yourself hard to reach your goals, you also went through a long period of stagnation because some of the subconscious blocks you have to success are still there. You have reach the top of a small mountain but now you want to scale a bigger mountain.

M: I think I have rested enough and I want to re-engage myself in my work and career life.
U: You have dealt with many of your mental and emotional blocks. These things come in layers. As you reach a new level of success, you will need to look another layer deeper to first find that level of success within.
M: What can be done to help me go to another level of success?
U: To be honest, you are not quite done enjoying your last bout of success. You wanted cool and fun things and you are not quite done with having fun with them. Not to say that you cannot have fun with them and have a great career, but you have seen with some friends around that they are truly unable to participate in the growing process of their kids. Your mother is a good example of having kids but did not truly enjoy them. People are strange that way.
M: I want to manifest more success.
U: If you look at your life now, you are effortless manifesting all the massive amounts of resources you need to really enjoy your kids and your family life. Keep writing, you don’t need more time to write. You have written this in less than 30 minutes. That is close to a word count of 1000. It is effortless for you and you don’t even realize this.
M: I guess I feel self conscious about publishing such intimate internal thoughts on the world wide web, everyone is going to think I am crazy.
U: You can worry about being crazy or you can put this out there and let people know that they too can turn any sense of self doubt around in less than 30 minutes.
M: I don’t know how I feel about being a crazy Dear Universe Lady.
U: Appreciate what you have and the skills you have. You might be pleasantly surprised at how many people out there would love to be a crazy Dear Universe Lady. And by the way, you just made your content deadline in 30 minutes. Good job May.